Chapter 25 - "I Want to Love You, Who Smiles"

—He had thought that the time to pay the tab he’d let pile up would arrive in a far more dramatic way.

"—Sir Heinkel Astrea, a summons has been issued for you to appear at the Royal Capital. We would like you to accompany us."

So saying, they surrounded Heinkel—the knights in the white uniforms of the Royal Knight Order—just as he sat in the corner of a tavern with cheap liquor in hand, brooding over the bleakness of what lay ahead. Knowing who he was and still calling on him to surrender, they were clearly being made to do a job they didn’t want; Heinkel felt genuine sympathy for them.

"The Royal Capital, huh... So what charge are you planning to haul me in on?"

"Regrettably, we lack the authority to tell you that. However, if you intend to resist..."

Bit by bit, the tension among the knights ratcheted up. Though his breath reeked of drink, his head hadn’t yet been clouded by drunkenness. From Heinkel’s feel for it, besides the three in front of him there was a squad waiting outside the tavern. In short, they were prepared to resort to force. And Heinkel did not have the strength to overbear their sense of duty. Above all—

"Even if I run, I’m cornered, huh..."

It wasn’t as if he’d been knocking back cheap booze purely out of self-destructive despair. Before wetting his lips, he had worked his brain over, trying every which way to search for a way out. The reason his feet had led him to the tavern after that was because, to the very end, he hadn’t wanted to admit it—namely, that he was already out of options.

"——"

Staring down at the drink still half left in his cup on the counter, Heinkel bit his lip. For the two objectives Heinkel had to accomplish, both required a position—one that would let him intervene in the Royal Selection. His contact with Priscilla had been by chance, and he’d only happened to gain that position, but belatedly he realized it was something he could not afford to lose once he had it. Therefore, excluding the Crusch camp, which involved his father, and the Felt camp, which involved his son, the best Heinkel could do was to be taken in by one of the remaining two camps.

"Lady Emilia’s camp is out, and Kararagi’s... Lady Anastasia’s camp as well."

Even Heinkel could understand it would be difficult. He’d like to pin his hopes on Anastasia, with a merchant’s pragmatism, but as became clear in the Vollachia Empire, she is quite friendly with Emilia. No doubt she has heard, straight from Emilia’s own mouth, about the disgrace Heinkel displayed before her. Even without that, Heinkel was aware that the impression he gave was the worst possible.

Thus, there was no chance that any Royal Selection Candidate would take Heinkel in. And that alone was reason enough for the faint glimmer he’d glimpsed to go out and leave him crushed.

"Sir Heinkel Astrea. —Your answer?"

Pressed for a decisive answer amid the heightened tension, Heinkel knocked back what remained in his cup and lowered his hand. The resolve to reach for the beloved sword at his waist never came.

On the way as he was being taken in, Heinkel was nonplussed to be shoved into a dragon carriage without even having his hands bound. He had fully steeled himself for something rougher—for a journey where he wouldn’t even be treated as human.

"...So in the end, what’s the pretext for this?"

Hemmed in by the knights who, as ever, wouldn’t answer even when asked, Heinkel considered what crime he was being charged with. —There were any number of possibilities.

He’d left the duties of Deputy Commander of the Royal Guard and his post as lord of the Astrea Domain completely neglected, and there was more than enough room to suspect he’d interfered in the internal affairs of the Vollachia Empire. Most recently, there was the fact that he had tried to cooperate with a plan Aldebaran had been hatching. Though in this case, for Heinkel, who’d been the one approached, it had all been nipped in the bud before anything even began—enough to make him want to say, "That’s not what you said!"

Even so, Heinkel felt no urge to blame Aldebaran for that. If you start condemning those who tried to accomplish something but ended without succeeding, Heinkel would need to drown in torment a hundred times over and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Once again, everything was back to square one—the matter of dragging Reinhard down from the seat of "Sword Saint," and the matter of waking his wife, who had been asleep for nearly twenty years.

Or perhaps the time had come. To strip away even the reasons to struggle, to have it thrust at him that he should give up already. If that was so, it was almost laughable.

"...And yet, that’s odd."

After several days on the road to the Royal Capital, escorted by knights who stubbornly refused to spill a word, Heinkel was made to get off the dragon carriage, and he frowned to see that the place was neither the Royal Castle, nor the knights' guardhouse, much less a jail. Before him stood an old church built in a corner of the Royal Capital—the Dragon Church—an edifice Heinkel had very good reasons to find hard to look upon directly.

Speaking of the Dragon Church, it is the state religion of the Kingdom of Lugunica, and though the degree of piety may differ, it is a bastion of prayer where many of the citizenry offer their faith to the Divine Dragon from whom they receive blessings. Once, Heinkel too had made the trip many times to offer prayers, wishing for his slumbering wife to awaken. —But from a certain night on, he has never gone again. He acknowledged that he had no right to go, and that was, at present, Heinkel's own view of the Church. In such a house of prayer of the Dragon Church, with Heinkel pushed along to pass through the entrance, the one awaiting him was a girl in a nun's habit with long golden hair and red eyes—

"Ah! I've been waiting for you, Lord Heinkel!"

The moment she saw Heinkel's face, the girl sent the chair she had been sitting on clattering violently aside and scurried over toward him. Bowled over by the momentum of the restless girl beaming a full smile, Heinkel involuntarily stepped a half step back. What he felt was not hostility. It was goodwill. He hadn't stepped back out of threat. It was doubt. And the reason for that doubt, when he once again looked her up and down, quickly bore fruit.

Beautiful golden hair, and red eyes like burning gemstones. Those were traits that should not be.

"—I am Philoore Lugunica. I'm so pleased to make your acquaintance like this, Lord Heinkel. I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival!"

"Phi...lore...!?"

"—? Yes, that's right, Philore. That's who I am... oh, right! To certain ears that would be quite a shock. Things around me have been so hectic lately that I keep forgetting to mention that."

As she spoke, the girl—who had given her name as Philore—stuck out her tongue in a coy, embarrassed way, and the agitation that seized Heinkel was beyond words. After all, there must not be two people in this world who bear that name.

"Thank you as well for your assistance. The Dragon will surely be pleased with your splendid work. \"The sword is wielded by the human arm, life is handled by the will of the dragon. The footprints of the chosen knight turn even bloodstained tracks into a silver road\" —so the scripture teaches."

Philore called out to the knights standing at the church entrance behind the shaken Heinkel. At her sonorous, ringing voice, the knights looked at one another. Naturally, from the point of view of those who had escorted Heinkel all the way here, they would not want to leave Philore and Heinkel alone together in this place. But without heeding the knights' misgivings, Philore clenched a fist and declared, "No need to worry!"

"This gentleman is of the Sword Saint line and a splendid person chosen by the Divine Dragon—allow me to give him my full endorsement! This is a very significant encounter for the kingdom as well!"

Even so, the knights' bewilderment did not fade at Philore's boast as she thumped a fist against her own chest. Meanwhile, Heinkel, too, had strong feelings about those remarks of hers—enough to be yanked back to reality from the initial shock of her giving her name.

"If anything happens, call at once. We will be waiting outside."

Given their station, that was probably the limit of the concession they could make. Leaving those words behind, the knights, who had kept stern eyes on Heinkel to the last, shut the church entrance and took up position outside. When their figures had vanished beyond the door, Philore folded her arms, murmuring, "What a bother."

"Given the situation, it's only natural that everyone's worried, but... for now, this takes priority. Once again, Lord Heinkel Astrea, I'm pleased to—"

"—What exactly was that just now supposed to mean?"

"Huh?"

He took a step, closing by a half step the distance he had once retreated, and put the question to her. As a result, Philore, now being looked down on from close range, rounded those red eyes. What an uncomfortable gaze that was. Even in her well-proportioned features, he felt too many points in common with the Royal Family of Lugunica. —And yet, that couldn't be.

"Philoore Lugunica is the princess who disappeared from the Royal Castle fifteen years ago. And if it's her you're talking about, she was found in the slums long ago and is now in the Royal Selection..."

"—Ah, you mean Felt. Yes, I've heard that she's under that kind of suspicion as well. But we have reached the conclusion that, as far as that is concerned, either way is fine."

"Huh...?"

"Either I or she might be the princess who disappeared from the Royal Castle fifteen years ago. By coincidence, both she and I are said to be about fifteen, and in that regard I think it's a miraculous fit. But that's not what matters."

"Th-That's absurd!"

Heinkel raised his voice at Philore, who was brazenly making light of one of the kingdom's greatest incidents. In truth, it was a ridiculous tale. Because of that incident, many things strayed from the proper course, and that was not unrelated to Heinkel. The many events that occurred that night fifteen years ago at the Lugunica Royal Castle—

"That ties into what you were saying earlier! Babbling off foolishness about me being from the 'Sword Saint' line, or being chosen by the 'Dragon'..."

"But fifteen years ago, you bathed in the 'Dragon Blood' kept at the Royal Castle, and instead of being crushed by that blood's power, the one who adapted to it was you, Lord Heinkel, wasn't it?"

"Wh—"

"Ah, this is something that ought to be kept secret, isn't it. To tell the truth, I read it on the sly in the Church's secret records, and only later realized I mustn't spread it around."

Though Philore now lowered her voice, Heinkel had no time for that. The mere mention of the 'Dragon Blood' from fifteen years ago was startling enough, but the clincher was that it was said to be recorded in the Dragon Church's secret annals. He couldn't fathom why. It's true there was a time he went to the church, but he wasn't a devout believer, nor had he ever carelessly bared his heart. Above all—

——

The suspicion cast at him—the events of that night fifteen years ago—can never be revealed. The responsibility does not stop with Heinkel alone; it is a grave matter that could reach the Astrea Family and the entire Kingdom of Lugunica. It is absolutely not something that could be settled just by Heinkel tearing out his own heart.

"Hah, I ain't got the faintest idea what you're on about, you imposter princess."

So Heinkel twisted his cheek into a craven sneer and made a vicious show of mocking Philore. At that, Philore's eyes flew wide, and she gasped at Heinkel's denial. Had she never even considered being refused? If so, what a foolish girl.

"You think if you come at me all straightforward, everything's going to bounce back to you all neat and tidy? If so, that's awfully carefree. The world doesn't work that nicely."

"Lord Heinkel..."

"Don't go slapping honorifics on me like some off-the-rack outfit! I don't know what you were expecting from me, but tough luck. Chosen by the 'Divine Dragon'? Don't make me laugh. From the 'Sword Saint' line? Is that your angle? The Royal Castle and the 'Dragon Church' have kept their distance! If you lot want everyone to revere the 'Divine Dragon' above all, then Reinhard's a real nuisance to you, isn't he!"

As he rattled off his curses, a tarry blackness spread through his chest. He was only voicing whatever came to mind, but it started to feel not entirely wrong. The name of the 'Sword Saint' carries immense prestige in the Kingdom of Lugunica, and with Reinhard—renowned as the greatest in history—presiding in this generation, it is verging on the realm of faith. Perhaps, to the Dragon Church, Reinhard is a thorn in their side. It is entirely plausible they'd aim to use Heinkel to remove him. That very notion—the bargaining chip Heinkel himself had been using in negotiations with Royal Selection Candidates—took on a clammy dampness. Yet perhaps, if he thought of one of Heinkel's aims, even that—

"—The reason I sought you out, Lord Heinkel, is because I wanted you to become my knight."

——. ————. ————————.

"...What?"

He'd been grinding his teeth on his thoughts until he could taste blood, so he felt as if he'd heard a strange hallucination. Heinkel scowled at a mishearing that defied any other explanation; yet, paying no heed to his confusion, Philore lifted her face and spoke. Once more, this time meeting his blue eyes,

"Heinkel Astrea, I would like you to become my knight. To be the first knight of this Philoore Lugunica, who is joining the Royal Selection late."

"Y-you—! A-are you out of your mind...!?"

"My, what a dreadful thing to say! For the record, once you and I swear a vow of lord and vassal, I will have you correct your demeanor as much as possible."

Her repeated remark pressed the point that this was no mishearing. But no matter how many points she piled up, a discussion with a shaky foundation could never come together. Philore had said she would make Heinkel her first knight—as a Royal Selection Candidate.

"Who filled your head with what? Don't tell me—Reinhard? Did he say something to you? Is that why—"

「Don't be ridiculous! Something this important isn't something you just decide by doing what someone says. I decided properly, by myself!」

「Then your judgment is all the worse! Didn't you listen to anyone? The knights out front, for starters. There must have been plenty of others you could have asked!」

「Yes, I did. Everyone, wearing serious expressions, insisted I should rethink it.」

「Then do as they say! Rethink it!」

「I did rethink it! But no matter how many times I did, Lord Heinkel still came out on top.」

Hands on her hips and chest thrust out, Philore's reply left him speechless. She must be the type who, once she decides, charges straight ahead. You could get that much from her words and deeds so far. You could—but what were the people around her doing?

「Lady Priscilla too had a stubborn streak and wouldn't yield once she'd decided, but in her case there was a decisiveness and ability to carry things out that brooked no argument...」

In terms of not lending an ear to others, they might be evenly matched. But between Priscilla and Philore, there is a great difference in the reliability, the personal strength, that each possesses. To put it plainly, Priscilla is an adult, whereas Philore is a child. If a child is about to do something wrong, it's an adult's duty to stop them. Even if that child carries an impressive title like Royal Selection Candidate, and even if the adult in a position to admonish her is a foolish, miserable, unqualified dying wreck.

「Dreaminess is one thing, but what you're looking at is a nightmare. And the kind of bad dream where you won't listen even when everyone around you tells you it's bad. I'm not going along with that.」

After saying that, Heinkel sneered at his own foolish choice. He'd lost the Royal Selection Candidate he had clung to and drowned himself in drink, thinking he couldn't achieve his aim as things stood; and now, when an unexpected hand had been offered to him like this, he couldn't bring himself to grasp it. If it truly mattered, he should be able to reach out without choosing his means. In that case—after spending fifteen years and still trying to pick and choose his moves, maybe he wasn't serious.

Perhaps it was all just the dregs of a deranged obsession, and inside, Heinkel was hollow—

『—You're so cute, Heinkel!』

In that instant, the voice that rang out clearly in a corner of his mind shook Heinkel's soul.

「—Luanna」

It's been nearly twenty years since he last heard that voice even once. Even so, if he closes his eyes, if he thinks of that smile, he can hear her voice as if she were right there—not just as if it were yesterday, but in this very moment. Of course he can. Because he loves her. Even if Heinkel were an empty shell, the heat called Luanna that filled him, and all that it gave him, were all real.

Not once, not for a single second, has that ever faded.

「I have been invested with the position of 'Saint' of the 'Dragon Church.' What I put forward as a Royal Selection Candidate is to abolish, one and all, the reasons that obstruct salvation—beginning with resolving the ill will between the Royal Castle and the Church.」

Before the wordless Heinkel, Philore declared this in a quiet yet powerful voice. He raised his head and looked at Philore. As ever, she was looking straight at him, but the words she spun no longer carried the flighty air from a moment ago. To make sure the words that needed to reach him would reach him, she was choosing them and pouring feeling and strength into them—that was how it came across.

「Lord Heinkel, I've heard about your wife. They say you've kept searching for a way to wake her for over ten years without giving up. That's something truly admirable.」

「...Admirable, is it. There's been no results. With Luanna still not awake, what's admirable about it?」

「No, it is admirable! No one praises you, do they? But I think it's incredible! It's not something just anyone can do. Indomita—no, I'm sure there were times your heart broke. Even so, the way you get back up is what's amazing!」

「――――」

「That's why I want you to be my knight. The fact that you've been chosen by the 'Dragon' is, of course, a reason I can't overlook as a 'Saint.' But you're someone who can't give up on doing everything in your power for the person you hold dear. I'm sure you and I will mesh!」

Raising her voice, Philore extended that smooth, white hand. Take this hand—her crimson eyes glittered fiercely as she appealed to Heinkel.

What a foolish girl; no matter how long I listen, that impression won't fade. The person a Royal Selection Candidate chooses as her first knight is someone to whom she entrusts not just her life, but her political fate as well. Even with a grand title like the 'Saint' of the 'Dragon Church,' Heinkel's ill repute could blow even that away. Philore doesn't have even a shred of a reason to choose Heinkel as her knight.

Turn her down. I should refuse. Not for anyone else—for the foolish girl before me. So that this foolish and kind girl won't be mocked as an idiot and have everyone pointing fingers at her, Heinkel ought to refuse this request.

Even though I should have refused—

"—Let me ask you one thing."

He should have snorted, turned his back, and walked away—yet those words slipped out. It wasn't rejection. It wasn't an insult. At that sign that he meant to continue the conversation, Philore tilted her head.

"What is it?"

"I've heard the 'Dragon Church' has a forbidden healing art they're not allowed to reveal publicly. If... if that really exists—"

"—You mean the 'Sacrament'?"

"—! So it exists!?"

At Philore's words, which suggested something came to mind, Heinkel pounced. Startled by his intensity, Philore's eyes widened, then she lowered them slightly. That change in her expression affirmed the existence of the Sacrament, while at the same time saying she had no certainty it would meet Heinkel's hope—to awaken his sleeping wife.

"—It exists. But I don't know whether it would have any effect on your wife."

As expected, after a beat of silence, Philore shook her head. Even so, he didn't sink into despair. Heinkel was used to having his hopes betrayed and being hurled off a cliff for it. He'd proven more than once that it wouldn't kill him.

"I see. I see... Ah, of course."

I've paraded enough living shame already. By any sensible measure, I shouldn't even have asked that question just now. And yet I did. And having done so, my hope was discarded. With that—

"—So that means we have to try it, don't we? I've been told over and over not to use it too much, but it's for helping someone, so it should be fine."

"—Huh?"

"Ah, but as I just said, I'm not certain I can do it. The Sacrament isn't omnipotent; it's influenced by the state of the person's soul, as it were... Even so, the 'Dragon Church' has various other things we can't make public, and if we don't give up, a path should open. Yes, surely."

Clenching the hand opposite the one she still had extended into a tight fist, Philore once again launched into an impassioned argument, just as she had at first. At her emphatic words, Heinkel blinked and let out a ragged breath.

"—"

Philore didn't say she could do it. She didn't tell him to leave it to her, nor did she promise she'd surely save her. —She only swore she wouldn't give up.

For twenty years now, the thing Heinkel had never been able to discard—understood by no one and mocked as foolish time and again—was affirmed by the girl before him as if it were only natural. He knew it: that everyone, even—indeed—the Heinkel reflected in the mirror, kept thinking somewhere in their hearts that it was impossible.

"Sir Heinkel, please show me the way. No—granted, the Astrea Family is famous, so I can guess where it is, but I feel reluctant to barge in when the family isn't present. Besides, things are a bit complicated between me and Felt..."

As if she couldn't afford to waste another moment, Philore set off at a brisk pace—then stopped. She turned back to Heinkel as she passed him and called for him to follow. Her eyes, as she turned, flew wide in surprise—because right there before her, Heinkel had dropped to one knee and bowed his head.

"Sir Heinkel...?"

"I apologize for the repeated discourtesies I've shown you up to now, Lady Philore."

To the astonished Philore, Heinkel deliberately steadied his voice and spoke.

If he became a Royal Selection Candidate's knight, he could be involved with the Royal Selection once more. If she were a 'Saint' who could wield even the hidden Sacrament of the 'Dragon Church,' she might be able to awaken Luanna. And if there was a possibility she was a princess of royal blood, then with that authority he might reach the ancient knowledge slumbering in the Royal Castle, or even the 'Dragon Blood' itself.

If he listed such calculations, he could come up with any number of reasons to kneel. But none of those calculations was the foremost reason Heinkel knelt here.

"—Do I still want to act like a knight?"

"I would like to accept your offer. —Make me your knight, Lady Philore."

"—"

"You may come to regret choosing me, but..."

"No, I won't! Never!"

At Philore, who smiled like a flower in bloom, Heinkel was taken aback and bit the inside of his cheek. Still kneeling, he unbuckled the sword at his waist, set it on the ground, and offered the most respectful salute. —The way he straightened his back, the angle at which he lifted his face to his liege, even the knightly rite of offering up his sword—twenty years of disgrace had not erased them.

The remnant of a knight who once swore fealty to the royal house now, of all times, puts on those airs again. Ridiculous. Truly, ridiculous through and through.

With that unfunny absurdity still plastered all over him, Heinkel Astrea became the first knight of Philoore Lugunica, a new Royal Selection Candidate.

—That was the day the relationship of lord and retainer between the 『Saint』 and the 『Backswordsman』 was established.