Chapter 34: When It Counts

—Truth be told, what they knew about the "Beloved Children" was frustratingly little.

They were a group serving directly under the Sin Archbishop of "Lust," Capella Emerada Lugnica, and the members themselves apparently had no sense of belonging to the Witch Cult; they saw themselves strictly as Capella's subordinates. Their position was different again from that of the culprits behind the "Body Double Doll" incidents now breaking out across the Kingdom of Lugunica. Only a select few among Capella's underlings were counted as "Beloved Children," or so he'd been told. And the condition for being chosen as one of those few was—

"—Having a special power no one else has. Mama... that person called it her children's 'talent.' She said someone as special as her deserved special children..."

"The more I hear, the more garbage the logic gets, and it matches my read on her so well it's scary. So, 'White Sheep,' what makes you think 'Beloved Children' are here, and more than one of them?"

"It's a guess, from what's been happening. We couldn't hold our feelings in check, and then the sound disappeared... Those are clearly two separate things."

"No chance it's one person with a bunch of powers? Some kind of multi-ability user?"

"I can't say it's completely impossible, but I think it's even less likely that a 'Beloved Child' would be acting alone. —We're made to keep watch on each other, so nobody runs away."

Even the answer to that question was smeared with Capella's ugliness, and it turned his stomach. Still, Subaru had already figured on his own that the odds of it were low. After all, the only people who came to mind at the words "multiple abilities" were Reinhard and the Sin Archbishop of "Gluttony." Both were off the charts, the very extremes of good and evil, and it was hard to imagine beings like that turning up here and there. One ability per person, the same as with Divine Protections and Authorities. For now, he'd keep that in mind.

"Mind you, then the question of what that makes me starts strangling me, but never mind that. 'White Sheep,' any idea which 'Beloved Children' are here?"

"I'm sorry. Actually, we 'Beloved Children' hardly know each other... The only one I know is an older woman who told me herself that her body was really hard to kill."

"Hard to kill... Well, I guess that's a special power too. But as a hint for what we're dealing with... Oh, right! If you were a 'Beloved Child' too, 'White Sheep,' you must have some special trick of your own—"

"—!"

Maybe that could lead to a way out, Subaru was thinking, when "White Sheep" caught her breath in front of him. Seeing her round eyes tremble and her cheeks go stiff, Subaru realized he'd picked the wrong subject. She didn't think kindly of her own ability. Naturally enough. That power was the reason Capella had fixated on her, the reason she was still forced into a position she'd never wanted.

"U-um, 'Gray Star,' I..."

"No, sorry. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. —We've still got moves left."

Shaking his head at her hoarse voice, Subaru looked behind him at the passage that had collapsed without a sound. Beatrice should be on the other side of that rubble. He'd been cut off from her and the others, but—

"Deep breath... and focus! —Cor Leonis!"

Letting out the breath he'd drawn in, Subaru gathered his awareness in his chest and activated the Authority of "Greed": Cor Leonis, which pinpointed his allies' locations and let him perceive their presence. Ideally, he'd be able to sense Emilia and the others, far away as they were, but that was asking too much of Subaru's ability. So for now, he'd settle for his allies inside Kugelschreiber Castle—

"—Beako and 'Black Dog' are together. The one moving on her own is Crusch, and the pair way off over there must be Russell and whoever's with him. And then..."

From the rough distances and movements, and from the hue of the light he sensed as each ally's presence, he could make out where Beatrice and the others were inside the castle, and that they were safe.

And so, checking on each of them one by one, relief piling on relief, he found it.

"—Ferris."

Cut off from Subaru and the others, from every one of his allies, at a spot set far apart all on its own, he definitely sensed Ferris's presence. The light was weak and faint, but it was there.

"There, he's there! It's Ferris! He's, he's alive!"

"Huh? That's really good news, but how would you know that, 'Gray Star'...?"

"Truth is, I've got this sensor-type power that lets me feel where my friends are! So I tried checking where everyone was, and Ferris was there too. He's safe... no, maybe not safe. His signal's really weak. But he's alive. And if he's alive... we can reach him!"

At that glimmer of hope, Subaru clenched his fist so hard his nails dug into his palm. At the restart point of his "Return by Death," Ferris had already been taken from their line in silence. In the worst case, the restart point might have come too late to save him. That possibility was always there. And Subaru could not bear it.

"But that's not how it went. That's not how it went... Ferris is... somewhere below us? Damn it, I should've had Beako draw me a map of the castle! Whatever, we have to go help him right n—"

"Please calm down, Gray Star-san! We can't do it on our own!"

Subaru was on the verge of dashing off after the faint reading of Ferris, whose life hung in the balance, when White Sheep spread her arms wide and blocked his path. She looked him straight in the eye as he stumbled forward.

"I believe you're not lying. But please, keep a cool head. Without Black Dog or Jade Beauty, if we take on the enemy, they'll just beat us!"

"That's... ah, damn it, you're right! I got worked up and stopped seeing straight again...!"

Panic had narrowed Subaru's vision to a tunnel, and White Sheep's words hit him like a splash of cold water. His view cleared, but the problem was no smaller. Only the order in which to deal with it had changed.

"White Sheep-chan, can you fight? I've got a bit of cheap cunning, and a bit of whip."

"I-I've got a bit of staff fighting, and a bit of magic!"

"Picking a fight with this hand would be reckless, huh... Then let's regroup with Beako and Black Dog, since they haven't moved. We'll never catch up to Crusch-san, fast as she is."

"Understood. Um, you can tell where they are with your power, right, Gray Star-san?"

"Yeah, let's go! I don't know the actual route, but it's this way!"

Keeping his focus steady and Cor Leonis running, he set off at a run with White Sheep behind him. He was still worried about Ferris, but for now he had to believe this was the best move. Link up with Beatrice and the others fast, get Black Dog back on his feet, then go rescue Ferris. If possible, he wanted to pick up Crusch and Russell's group along the way and head there all together. Of course, bunching up in a crowd risked leaving them defenseless against that phenomenon you might call an emotional "Breakdown," so whether that really counted as the best move was questionable—

"—?"

As he ran with all that on his mind, Subaru frowned at a sudden sense that something was off. In this unfamiliar castle, skirting broken walls and passages where the floor had caved in, he should have been charging along the shortest route he could find toward the light of Beatrice and the others. Naturally, he was moving cautiously, since running into the enemy on the way would be the worst thing that could happen. He was, but—

"Um, Gray Star-san... there's something that's hard to say."

"...Please don't say it. No, actually, say it. I want to face reality too."

When White Sheep brought it up timidly, Subaru made that request with a sour face. At that, White Sheep looked around, her body stiffening slightly—

"—We've been through here once already. We're going in circles."

"Right?! I was thinking the exact same thing. That broken pillar, I saw it earlier."

They turned left at the T-junction at the end of the corridor, and there was the fallen pillar crushing the passage. Plenty of sights here looked alike, but this was the same one, no doubt about it. Because the distance to Beatrice, whom they should have been heading straight for, wasn't shrinking at all.

"Don't tell me that on top of 'Silence' wiping out sound and 'Breakdown' cranking up emotions, they can make people 'Lost' too? They didn't bring every single Beloved Child, did they...?!"

He'd said it in the heat of the moment, but the Sin Archbishops had once all gathered in Priestella, so he couldn't exactly laugh it off. And if by some chance it were true, their side was pitifully weak compared to back then. At the very least, he'd like to trade Rachins for Reinhard.

"I'll swap myself out for Garfiel too, and bring Julius and Roswaal along. Heck, might as well call in Ceci as a guest helper and flip the whole table..."

"I-I don't really think all the Beloved Children would come out at once... but if they mean to settle things here, I can't say. Um, and there's also the hidden door to the laboratory, so it's not impossible that some trick of this castle is leading us astray..."

"If that's the case, Beako putting her trip down memory lane ahead of castle security was one hell of a fielder's choice. Besides, two things are bugging me. Both about Crusch-san."

Subaru held up two fingers, and White Sheep blinked. "Jade Beauty-san?"

When it came to corridors you got lost in, the first thing Subaru thought of was the prank Beatrice had once pulled on him at the Roswaal Mansion, the hallway that looped forever. That had been a kind of trick, and Crusch's "Dragon's Eye" could probably have seen through it at a glance. On top of that, after the discord brought on by "Breakdown" had pitted her against Black Dog and she had cut him down, Crusch had said she was going to look for Ferris and run off along their original course. —That was strange too.

"If she wanted to find Ferris, she should've gone back the way we came. He got taken by 'Silence' because he was walking at the very back... And sure enough, I think Ferris is underground, over that way."

The relative positions were a little hard to pin down, but Cor Leonis was telling him Ferris was underground, nearer the entrance than where Subaru and White Sheep were now, deep inside the castle. Even with "Breakdown" making her blood boil, Crusch should have known that much.

"But she ran forward. And nothing about it felt off to her. If the same kind of thing is happening to us right now..."

They thought they were heading for their goal, yet they couldn't get any closer to it. —Something was warping them. Their sense of distance, their sense of direction. They were running on the rail next to the one they thought they were on. Because of it, Subaru and White Sheep, no, most likely none of their allies, would ever reach where they were going.

"...Hey, hey, this is quietly really bad."

He had worked backward from what had happened to guess at the enemy's powers, and taken one at a time, none of them seemed all that threatening. Yet with the right moment and the right combination, they could take harassment this far? Capella's Children indeed. When it came to making people do what they hated, every last one of them was top-notch.

"Ah, you're an ex, White Sheep, so you don't count. You're separate. I'm reserving judgment on Black Dog, though..."

"—Maybe we should rethink our assumptions."

"Huh?"

"If we just keep blindly trying to regroup, I don't think we'll ever get there. At some point, we need to make a move of our own... Gray Star-san!"

White Sheep, who had been deep in thought with a hand at her mouth, snapped her head up. "Yes!" Subaru blurted, startled by the force of it, and she gestured at the whole castle with both hands.

"You can sense where your allies are, right? It doesn't matter who. Try pointing to them."

"...Okay. Beako's over there. Black Dog too."

Wondering if she had something in mind, he did as White Sheep said and pointed toward the light he could sense. She checked the direction, nodded, "All right," and then:

"Then let's try heading that way. Ready, go!"

"Hey, you can't just spring that on— Huh?"

Hurried along without warning, Subaru hastily took a step. —In the opposite direction from Beatrice, whom he was pointing at that very moment. At that unmistakably wrong movement of his own body, his throat gave an involuntary gulp.

"Don't tell me it's messing with the wiring in my brain like this? If it is..."

"—No. This time, try closing your eyes. Then walk toward where you sense Miss Librarian."

"—? My eyes? But I don't think that'll change..."

...anything, he thought, but he closed his eyes anyway and focused on Cor Leonis. Beatrice was still beside Black Dog, and out of the darkness behind his eyelids, he moved his feet toward her—

"—I knew it."

At White Sheep's voice, Subaru opened his eyes and checked where he was standing. He had moved only one step, but unlike the earlier one that had gone the wrong way, this step had carried him properly toward where he sensed Beatrice.

"W-What was different? Is it the kind of illusion that gets in through your eyes...?"

"I think your power, Gray Star-san, now has greater output than 'Lost.' The hierarchy between Divine Protections, Evil Eyes, and special abilities is very strict, so..."

"Special abilities... Right, Cor Leonis is an Authority."

If it came down to which power outranked which, an Authority could paint over the effects of the enemy's. With his eyes closed and a hundred percent of his focus on Cor Leonis, he could break through the barrier "Lost" had put between them and their destination—

"That's a huge win, White Sheep! This'll work! Okay, this time for real, follow me!"

"Ah, wait, please! It looks like it'll work, but..."

"No, we've already lost a ton of time! Time to make it up from he— Blorp-flumph!"

Following the breakthrough he had finally found, Subaru shut his eyes and boldly set off after Beatrice's light, and his body slammed head-on into a solid wall and went sprawling spectacularly across the corridor. He had smacked his forehead and nose hard. When he went over, he had botched the fall, too.

"Gaaah... Crap, obviously... walls and pillars don't disappear..."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't stop you in time!"

"N-no, it's not your fault. It's mine. My head's. ...But damn it, what now?"

Even with a way to keep "Lost" from leading them astray, this was still Ballpoint Pen Castle, all dead ends and detours. To avoid a repeat of that little tragedy, the only option was for Subaru to shuffle along with his eyes shut, nervously feeling out the walls and floor as he went, but—

"I could walk behind you and tell you what the path is like. That might help a little, but..."

"Even so, we'd still be crawling along, huh. And after getting turned around so much, we've drifted even farther from Beako and the others. Getting all the way there..."

"—isn't realistic right now, you mean?"

"White Sheep" had caught up to the conclusion his thoughts were heading for, and when she asked, Subaru nodded. He still wanted to regroup with Beatrice and the others as fast as possible, but even with the method they'd found, there was no telling how long it would take to reach them.

And even as they stood there—

"—Crusch's movements changed. She's... fighting!"

Crusch, who had been moving swiftly through the castle, stopped, and in that spot began moving in some way other than running. From the flicker and heat of the light he sensed, Subaru could feel that she was in a battle. What was more, he could guess who she was fighting. Because—

"She's not that far, but I can't hear any fighting."

Turning toward where he sensed Crusch, Subaru felt an air drifting from that direction that was far too quiet, like the stillness of a Japanese garden. No question about it: Crusch was fighting "Silence." Without meaning to, Subaru laid a hand on his stomach, remembering the broad blade that had run him through there from behind. It wasn't hard to imagine that it had been "Silence"'s weapon.

"—"

In that instant, two thoughts struck sparks off each other in Subaru's head. The sensible thought: if Crusch was fighting an enemy, they should rush to her side. The humiliating thought: if her opponent was "Silence," their presence would only be dead weight chained to her.

"—Against 'Silence,' there's no way for us to coordinate."

It would be another story if the two of them were so perfectly in sync they could work together without a word, but unfortunately Subaru and Crusch had no rapport like that, and their abilities weren't in the same league to begin with. So a careless reunion could, in itself, end up playing into the enemy's hands. That was what made Subaru hesitate to go to Crusch at this moment. And there was one more reason he was thinking this way—

"—From here, Ferris is close."

Yes, that was it. Going by Cor Leonis, both Crusch and Ferris were within a realistic distance, somewhere Subaru could lead them with his eyes shut.

Crusch was locked in combat with the enemy; Ferris had either been taken captive, or had been left lying wounded where he couldn't move. Either way, both were in danger, each of a different kind. But if there was one thing to weigh, it was that "Silence" wasn't with Ferris right now. Now, while "Silence" had their hands full with Crusch—

"Besides, with Ferris around, we'd all be a whole lot safer. If we can meet up with 'Black Dog,' he should be able to get right back in the fight. So..."

"So your view is that we should go rescue 'Blue Snake.'"

Faced with Subaru's armor of arguments, "White Sheep" pressed her lips together in that lovely face of hers and thought it over. He understood her worry. Whatever you said about it, Subaru and "White Sheep" were noncombatants, and even if they pulled off something reckless and rescued Ferris, that would just make three noncombatants, nowhere near a boost in fighting strength. Even with "Silence" elsewhere, the enemy still had at least "Breakdown" and "Lost." And they still hadn't found anything that deserved to be called a way to counter those. If they wanted to avoid risk, they should aim to regroup with Beatrice and the others, however long it took.

"—But if you take a road with zero risk, you walk away with zero of what you want."

"'Gray Star'..."

"Honestly, I know I'm asking something really hard. And I know you've got your own goal, 'White Sheep'-chan, one you'd even join the 'Six Tongues' to reach. It's something you can't afford to fail at, right? But... but!"

If you feared failure and kept marking time, you wouldn't be able to step forward even when the crucial moment arrived. Subaru had learned that through more failures than he could count, and every time, he had been beaten down by regret and bitterness that tore his soul apart.

Which was exactly why Subaru, of all people, could say it. The moment that counts always comes.

"Let's show them what we're made of. So we can face the friends who matter to us."

"—I..."

He didn't know if this was the best choice. If it was worth dragging someone else into the same line of fire. But he did know that if he didn't choose here, he would regret it bad enough to die. And at his words, "White Sheep" nodded back, her face set with resolve—

"I'll choose too. So that I can face that person."

△▼△▼△▼△

—Always, always and always, always and always and always, he thinks it.

Why was he so useless? Why was he so pathetic? Why was he such a failure? The voice asking why, tormenting him, was the only thing that never went away. —And even that was a kind of self-indulgence.

"Honestly, I can't stand myself..."

The moment he woke up and understood the situation he'd been put in, he wanted to die of shame. Of course, he couldn't die that way. No method, whatever it was, could easily take this life. That was Felix Argyle's special talent, miserable enough to make him want to curse it.

"Hey, there's something I think about all the time, always and always. Will you listen?"

While he was busy cursing himself, a shrill voice spoke from right in front of him. A glance showed a long-haired woman in a black hat and a black dress. She pressed her hands together in front of her face and looked at Felix with dreamy eyes.

"Don't you feel like the right hand and the left hand are destined for each other, born to nestle together perfectly like this for their whole lives? The right foot and the left foot are different. I mean, they never fit snugly together like this, do they? So feet aren't in love... but the right hand and the left hand!"

"—"

"No, wait, hold on. If you look even closer, it's not just the hands, the fingers line up perfectly too! The thumbs, the index fingers, the middle fingers! And the little fingers! They're only little fingers, and still!"

What she found so delightful, he had no idea, but the woman was flushed and squealing and wriggling. Her whole manner grated on him so badly that he wanted to throw cold water on it.

"...Some people are born missing a hand, you know. And some people lose hands or fingers to injuries."

"—"

It was an extreme argument, but she'd been the one to hurl an extreme argument at him first, and hers had been a lost cause from the start. Maybe he'd hit a nerve and get hurt for it. There was a small, reckless part of him that wouldn't mind that, if it meant drawing her attention. However—

"...That's wonderful."

Far from getting angry, the woman let out a hot, enraptured breath, and her eyes grew moist as she looked at Felix. Then she raised both hands above her head and began spinning in place.

"Because love burns brighter the higher the obstacles! Differences in station! Different races! Age, gender, ethics, morals, laws! All of it, all of it, is fuel to set love ablaze! And the greatest obstacle of all... hehe, ehehe, do~ you~ know~?"

"—"

He regretted the cold water in an instant. It was a vein that would turn up nothing good however far you dug. Or perhaps he'd struck a spring that welled up nothing but poison. —And in fact, "poison" wasn't far off the mark.

"...You've been doing something to me this whole time, haven't you? What is this?"

"Something... You mean your arms? If that's it, that wasn't me, that was Reborn. He's such a brute, honestly. Someone like Reborn would go well with an easygoing, steady older partner, or, the other way around, someone younger who's even more of a handful than he is! Don't you think!?"

"Not my arms. I mean how you're trying to mess with my head."

"Oh, that? Hehe, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not doing that to just you. I'm doing it to everyone in this castle... Oh! Did you want to be treated specially? But if that's so, does that mean you like me? I like you too!"

As the woman proclaimed her love with dreamy eyes, Felix gave up any hope of a sane conversation. Besides, only a fool reveals his hand to the enemy. The fact was, Felix could feel something from outside interfering with his body, and his body continuously recovering from it.

The special formula woven through Felix's body kept a spell permanently active that held his physical state at its optimum. Because of it, even changes Felix himself failed to notice would be answered by shifts in his flesh and his Od, which responded to the abnormality and restored him. Even now, it seemed, he was endlessly healing whatever strange power the woman was using on him. This power had a flaw, however. —The frailty of Felix's own body.

"—"

Ignoring the squirming woman, he took in his surroundings. He was apparently still inside Kugelschreiber Castle, but it was a space he didn't recognise. It looked like the kind of landing every castle or mansion has, yet there wasn't a single window in its high walls. Most likely underground. And there, underground, Felix was a prisoner. —His arms raised above his head, skewered through quite literally, and pinned to the wall.

"I hate to admit it, but that's a full-marks way to pin someone..."

As stated, Felix's body constantly restored itself to perfect condition, but with blades run through his flesh, there was no way to heal the wounds without first doing something about the blades. And Felix, strung up with his arms skewered, did not have the physical strength to pull them out and free himself. Which left him no choice but to go on hanging here like some sideshow exhibit—

"Don't make that face, Felix. You'll spoil that pretty face of yours. Besides, besides, you know what? I think this isn't such a bad deal for you either."

"Huh? How?"

"The thing is, right now it's awfully hard for anyone to get here! Everyone has to take a 'Detour,' and some of them are bound to lose heart or burst into tears along the way. But, but, if someone does make it past all those obstacles and reach this place... then that's your destined partner! I, Bellaris the 'Ring Finger,' guarantee it! A blazing love will sweep you up!"

Because he'd answered on reflex in a conversation he had no intention of joining, he'd ended up forced to listen to her ramble on with her worthless delusions, and all he'd gained was the woman's name: Bellaris. On top of that, what Bellaris called hope was, without question, Felix's despair.

"...A knight held hostage. The worst."

Even if he lacked a knight's ability and the title was nothing but decoration, for someone whose place was to protect others to be left waiting for someone to save him was a nightmare, pure and simple. All the more so if it meant dragging down the one person he never, ever wanted to drag down.

And what Felix found hardest of all to bear was—

"—If the one coming were Reinhard or somebody, I wouldn't mind at all, you know."

He would rather have said it in a voice that sounded half dead, but Felix's throat and tongue were in perfect condition, and it didn't come out that way. He was the one who had made the spell work like that. Whether he knew that or not, the newcomer gave a small laugh, a breathy "ha," and said,

"You look a lot perkier than I expected. That's a relief, Ferris."

Whether on purpose or deliberately, or perhaps just riding high on some mood, a boy with glittering eyes had appeared on the landing, practically dancing onto it, his footsteps ringing out far too loud. From the underground entrance, the boy, Natsuki Subaru, fixed his eyes on Felix, pinned to the far wall of the wide space, then glared at Bellaris, who stood at the feet of the hanging captive. And, eyes still sharp, he thrust a finger straight at her.

"Hyahhaa! Finally we meet, 'Beloved Child'! I've been dying for the day I'd get to see your ugly mugs!"

"————"

Felix frowned at Subaru, who had his eyes flung wide and his voice cracking with bravado as he hurled his challenge. Even for his usual false cheer, it was a bit much.

"...So it's that kind of thing."

If whatever was happening to Subaru right now and whatever Felix's body kept healing over and over came from the same cause, then he had a fair idea of what Bellaris was doing. She was scattering it. Into the air: a "poison" that drove people mad. Bellaris, living up to the word "poisonous woman" in the most literal sense, hugged herself as though Subaru's challenge had her quaking in fear.

"I knew it! Just as I thought! Natsuki, you loved Felix all along! Otherwise you could never have made it past Tornel's 'Detour' all the way here! Just as I thought, just as I hoped, just as I wished, just as I dreamed, just as, just as, just as, just as, so precious—!!"

Stamping her feet on the spot, Bellaris writhed in a rapture that had gone past its limit. Subaru, seeing this for the first time, didn't hide how thoroughly put off he was as he readied his whip. He seemed prepared to cross swords with Bellaris, but—

"...Where's little Beatrice?"

"Beako and I split up! And not just Beako! But don't worry, you're not alone! Me neither! I've got allies I can count on! Number one, my whip!"

"A whip! What are you going to use it for?! Is that love too?! Can I watch from the side? Or should I join in? Is that love? If it's love, then I don't mind!"

"Plus courage! When it comes down to the wire, this is what you can count on! And a trump card, I've—"

Got one, he had presumably meant to say. Faced with the nightmarish sight of Subaru and Bellaris raising a racket together, Felix had even begun to doubt this was real.

That was why. Why his understanding couldn't keep up with what happened next.

"—By trump card, do you mean me? If so, I'm sorry."

Out of nowhere, a figure appeared behind the shouting Subaru and threw its arms around him. No. It only looked like an embrace, and the reality was something else: the figure had rammed into him with its whole body. Why? Because that way the blade wouldn't come loose. Because it would go in deep. Because the sharp knife, gripped in both hands and braced at the hip, could neatly gouge the vital spot in Subaru's flank.

"White... Sheep...?"

Staring at the knife jutting from his side and at the person clutching it, Subaru called her by her name, or rather by what he called her. Neither Subaru nor Felix knew her real name. "Bhk." Blood welled up and spilled from his mouth, and Subaru sank to his knees. Looking down at him as he knelt, with cold eyes Felix had never seen on her before, she spoke. White Sheep said, "I chose, too. To grant my own wish."